10 Kids Toys That Should be Banned

Some toys can be quite education and fun, while others…. well, lets just say, should have never been manufactured. 

Looking at these toys really makes me think there should be some kind of international commission that would decide what products can be marketed as “toys”. :D


1. Aquapet

Banned toys - aqua

Is it just us, or is this thing just a box short of a Dick In a Box? :P Doesn’t it just look like a cock with two pink balls? According to the toy’s designers, they simply did not notice. I wonder if it vibrates when you press the “D” button.

2. The E.T. Finger Light

ET finger light - banned toys

I think everyone remembers this movie, but… what’s up with this toy? Am I the only one who sees a dick? As if that was not enough, it glows. And "Helping kids have fun in the dark" bit is the cherry on top. Who comes up with this stuff?!

3. Dick in a box by Disney

Dick in a box by Disney

Looks like Disney is trying to bring dick in a box back. I bet Disney knows what his parents are laughing at. I wonder how many of those have been sold.

4. Black Canary Barbie

Barbie - banned toys

It is no surprise that every little girl dreams about a Barbie. Are you sure you’d let your child play with such a kinky one though? All that’s missing is a whip. ;) This is not the first time Barbie has faced bans.

5. Supersonie Candy

candy cigaretes

Candy always sells well, but I’d be scared my kid would try to light one of those “just like Mommy does”. This has happened too many times before. Canadian law still prohibits any candy cigarette branding that resembles cigarette company branding.

6. Superman Snuggler

Superman or super blowjob

Snuggle and carry around this cute Superman pillow all day. I’d rather Superman remained the superhero we all know and love. This is just crossing the line. Super BlowJobMan is an insult to my childhood hero.


7. Shave the baby

Shave the baby

Don’t get us wrong: we’re open to difference and all that, but… this kind of thing doesn’t even occur in nature. How do I explain this to my child? Do I give him a pair of scissors to fix it? This is sick.


7. Poo-Dough

Poo for kids

Don’t kids leave enough shit in their pants on their own? Should we really be encouraging them to squeeze out fake turds? ;) It was one of the best-selling children’s toys in 2013, despite many a horrified mom.

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1 comment

  • Pedro

    What about guns?

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